I have been enjoying a ride on the decluttering bandwagon and tried the KonMari method. One of her theories that stuck with me is the idea of living with ‘the right amount of stuff’. If we want to make the most of our evenings and weekends it’s a matter of less is more. A lot of us really can’t be bothered to maintain loads of physical stuff and benefit from less to dust, clean, fix and think “I really must do that”.
According to the KonMari method you know when you have enough stuff. It ‘feels’ right and I am sure it looks right too. What is ‘enough’ stuff differs greatly from person to person. I don’t need many wine glasses but I get through a shocking number of mugs in one day.
It’s fun to compare with your friends what’s enough of other stuff:
- How many dresses/bras/shirts/jeans/pairs of shoes do you have?
- How many books/movies/series/gigs do you get through in a year?
- Is one week of holiday a real holiday to you?
This got me thinking about what feels ‘enough’ in a broader sense. If you have tasks that are checked off a list it’s clear when you’ve done enough. ‘Enough’ in other aspects of life is harder to grasp.
- How much is enough exercise?
- Enough to eat?
- At what point is a language fluent?
- How much time is enough time with friends and family?
- What is enough rest?
My biggest struggle with enough is what I’m doing during the evenings.This sounds like a luxury problem, and it is! The problem is overwhelm; over-booking which makes me over-tired and quite quickly I’m not able to enjoy myself as much and keeping up with chores and diet takes a nosedive and I’m drawn into a pasta-again, quick-wipe-not-real-cleaning cycle.
How do you know what enough is? Is it when you’re:
- looking forward to it
- looking back on it fondly
- feeling uplifted or energized in some way (even if it was a long day or a late night)
There are a couple of tools I’ve implemented to help me decide if I can say yes to weeknight gigs/3 appointments in a weekend/random dinner out or if it’s better to postpone or decline. These tools are super-simple and obvious: Set a budget!
Money
My going out budget is perpetually over-spent. I looked at it again today. It’s all red. In general I am not a big spender but for sure that’s where my money goes.
Setting a budget helps me to prioritize and choose (time will tell if this statement actually holds any truth...). This is hard for me, this is so so hard! I love to see live music and it’s one of the most engaging and life enhancing activities I do so there are tough choices to be made. The gig usually means a ticket, transport, a meal out and maybe a drink or two. That costs quite some dolla.
A budget helps to decide which gigs I really do not want to miss. But it’s not helping much with my chronic fomo…
Time
In a typical week this is what I aim for:
- 2 skype sessions
- 2 evening classes
- 1 social appointment
It’s essential to know yourself and this is what I know: I take classes because I want assistance and need the external accountability and I need regular contact with the ones I love.
The assistance of colour coding
I have been using a bullet journal for a while and trying out various forms of a monthly overview. Right now I’m trying out an excel version inspired by the amazing year in pixels where colour cells means it’s booked and then done. (Full disclosure - I love the excel bullet journal more than the paper book version and it’s much more effective for me.) I’ve blocked out my evening activities and everything else so that I can clearly see with my eyes how much I’ve got going on. It’s really hard! I can just squeeze this extra thing in can’t I? Sure I can and sometimes I do…
I’m into month 3 of clear budgets and colouring-in bujo so we shall see, what we shall see...
What’s enough for you?
- Are you in touch with your parents every day? With me it’s much less than that.
- Do you have one or two close friends? I have some faraway friends too.
- Can you enjoy the same thing every Friday? I am not able to stick to a strict routine.
There is no right or wrong, there’s only what is right for you and for me and if we care about each other we meet where it overlaps to spend a lovely evening together!
Ok. That’s enough.
Kim
Co-founder, The Clean Sheet