I took the name of this post from the mini-podcast by Gretchen Rubin and I also read a version of this concept in 99U. This is how it worked for me.
My two crushes
My two crushes were online dating and job hunting. Both massive, potentially life changing projects that take a while to come to (hopeful) fruition. Both involving some research, some ‘interviews’ and a basketful of nerves and decision making. Both were also easy enough to shelve because I wasn’t unemployed and it’s not mandatory to date. (Escape routes are clear!)
Why have two crushes?
One crush can distract you from the other, that’s why. Doing one thing at a time can be easier as it saves a lot of energy and keeps you focused. But when something is super-scary and also important we don’t want to be obsessing over it all the time. In this case I found it helpful to tackle two scary things at once…
Short and sweet, up and down
I would recommend trying this with clear, finite, short-term goals. The idea is to invigorate and energize, not overload and burnout. There are only so many jobs one can apply for or people one can meet in a week, so the limits set themselves. There should be enough time and energy to bounce from one project to the other and that’s the idea – to propel yourself forward through the ups and downs; as one goes up the other can fall away.
Distraction
I’m not nervous about the date on Sunday because all my nerves are focused on the interview I am having on Wednesday. One thing at a time.
Let’s chat
You can have a conversation about job hunting on your date and who knows maybe your date has some great tips?
Rewards
I’m not going to check the dating app until I’ve completed that job application.
No disappointments
It doesn’t matter if the date is boring because the interview was great! And vice versa.
All at once
Dating is scary. Job hunting is scary. Why wait for one scary thing to be done and then start the next scary thing? Will the fear never end?! Use the energy of fear to fuel both and maybe you’re done in half the time!
You can’t be nervous all the time
Every successful step will make you feel more confident and every excruciating moment will make you feel more confident. It can get even better and it probably can’t get worse! It’s all good (or it’s a good story).
If you’re tackling something big it could help to double it up with something else big, like people who move house and have a baby at more or less the same time. Embrace the opportunity for major change!
Consider this:
Two projects – don’t feel like doing one? Procrastinate by doing the other. In the end they both get done.
Pair a challenge – improve your diet and your photography skills by documenting healthy meals. If you accidentally eat a lot of cake at least the pictures of said cake will be good. Maybe the pics are blurry but the dish was delicious. Over time you get more vitamins in and more beautiful photos out.
Learns skills and be social – sign up for a course you’ve always wanted to take and try to make one friend while you’re there. If the course bombs you made a friend, if everyone was weird you made a ceramic bowl. There’s no reason why the course won’t end with serving your new friend some snacks in your hand crafted bowl.
Did it work?
For me, yes it did work however I will say that it’s worth bearing in mind how your two crushes might affect you in the longer term. I was fortunate and did get a job and was dating at the same time which was an excellent distraction and a very exciting time. Starting two new endeavors simultaneously is not nothing (I am not complaining) so consider how you’ll manage if you achieve best case scenario. Change is tiring as well as exciting and your crushes will take up lot of time so make sure you have enough to go around.
It can be useful to half or double so if you’re tackling something big consider pairing it up. The balance it creates might actually make it more manageable.
Kim
Co-founder, The Clean Sheet